Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Is not a Blessing

Today is 28 August on Holy and God-Bearing Calendar invented by Pagans.

So. Long time no post! Is wondering where I am, no? Here I is! Is Posting!

Was driving today, 28 August, on the road. Was on the road in Neighbouring City of Sheboygan, visiting sick parishioner. She is my parishioner in neigbouring city because her city has not really Orthodox Church of Russian way and means. Soon, Holy Orthodox Synod on Mountain in Old Country (HOSOMIOC) send over Priest for her. But now I drive many miles over there for her, once a month, with communion.

Was on Interstate on way to Sheboygan. Was trying to not let her fall asleep before I get there. Is falling asleep earlier and earlier these days! Suddenly!

Van Dam, Thank You Matushka, I get pulled over by State Trouper. Is typing up as follows for Lawyer

State Trouper: License and Registration, please sir? WHOA! What are you dressed up as?

FV: (Is handing him license.)

ST: Farther Vasly

I have a card in the wallet for this problem. I show the officer which card in my wallet.

I Farther Vasili. Is Carrying communion around neck. Is not talking with communion around neck.


ST: Um. That's going to make it kinda difficult.

FV: *shrug*

ST: Look here, Mister Vassal-ee. You were doing 75 miles per hour. We're going to have to talk about this. Can you put the communion over there on the seat?

FV: (flips over card) "Is not leaving communion unguarded!"

ST: Communion won't be unguarded, I'll be here!

(Was thinking Policeman was thinking he was Orthodox. But was sure that he was World Orthodox anyway. Not going to hand over the Mysteries to him!)

ST: Sir, let me hold it while you talk.

FV: (nothign)

ST: Sir do you know how fast you were goin? you were going so fast I'm surprised your hat stayed on your head.

FV: (Is taking off communion chain - can not be angry and wear communion. Is Angry. Hold communion up in the air on chain.)

FV: Is not 'hat'! Is Kamilavka! Gift of HOSOMIOC! Is like your badge! What Holy Synod place on head never blow away! Is not speeding! Car looks fast from behind!

ST: Um. Right. Look, Sir, I'm going to give you a ticket.

FV: To what?

ST: Not to what, when: a summons. To court. You'll have to appear in court and explain why your car looks fast from behind. But you'll have to talk then!

FV: Is ok! I have book that explains!

ST: You have a book that says you can speed?

FV: No! Is having book that explains communion on chain and no talking.

ST: Sir, the judge won't care about that. Just be there on September 23rd.

FV: Which calendar?

ST: Huh?

FV: Is Real September 23rd or is Fake Semptember 23rd on the 10th?

Is going down hill from there. Is home now. Tired. Is making bed time. More later.

No comments: